Hello everybody. I hope you had a terrific weekend. I was trying to think about what I could blog about. Many subjects came to mind like marriage, terrorism, etc. But while drinking my coffee, my heart told me exactly what road to take. Is it a controversial subject? Yes, it is. But I did not become a blogger to just write about easy subjects.
What comes to mind when you hear the word “homosexual”? Gay? Transgender? Many things come to my mind, especially how I grew up. I don’t remember someone specifically telling me that was wrong, but I assumed it was wrong just because those who were homosexuals were bothered, insulted and made fun of. I could see the judging eyes of everybody towards these individuals. I remember if a girl was a tomboy how she would be called names, and if a boy was too delicate the same.
I remember in my neighborhood in Peru there were a few lesbians around, and when they said hello to me I would just ignore them. I was terrified they could like me as a woman. Also at school when we went on a trip and one of the students was a lesbian, I remember just covering myself just because I thought that even the thought of her looking at me was disgusting. The only homosexuals with whom I would have a conversation were our hair dressers. For some reason I was ok with them. Who was going to guess the transformation I was going to have through the years about this subject that now some of my finest friends are homosexuals.
Going back (because that is what I do), I look for answers. I want to be informed as to why the heck I thought that. Did I have a bad experience? Why were we so afraid? Who told us to think that way? Before the church even came to play a big role in society, ancient cultures have had all kinds of relationships: woman with man, woman with woman, men with men, adults with kids, etc. So I am assuming when the church (in this case I am talking about the Catholic Church) came to play a role in society, they just said it was against God to engage in such relationships and that there would be a form of punishment. Sometimes I wonder whoever made the rule might probably be really afraid because they had some homosexual inclinations. Who knows? At the end, most of us have been raised with a form of a religious organization telling us what to think, how to behave, etc. And when I talk about this, there is always someone telling me what the Bible says. (I will tell you what I think about the Bible in another blog.)
Now I am more aware of the world and its differences. I have gone deep into my relationship with that power; some call it God, Buddha, Universe, Earth, or whatever you want to call it. I can see more clearly now. I see that we must embrace our differences and even celebrate them to have a more loving world. We might not agree on everything, but we must respect each other and be compassionate.
There have been so many cases of unfortunate endings. That people were gay and because they could not accept their TrueSelf they just killed themselves. Others married the opposite sex and had many kids to prove to their families that they were “normal,” so nobody questioned them. Others escaped with their lovers against the odds and lived separate lives from their families. Others just died inside not telling people who they really were. I can’t even imagine the pain some homosexuals can go through. And then we wonder why some of them decide to hurt themselves using drugs and getting into abusive relationships if nobody is teaching them to love themselves just the way they are. I am so grateful I live in the United States; I am not saying that here there is not discrimination, but at least I see more openmindedness. When you make the decision to see life with love and not judging eyes, you will see what God shows you. Let me tell few of my examples.
At my son’s school, I remember there was this party in the classroom where I would see these two moms together. I thought that maybe it was the mom and the aunt. You could see they were really involved in this kid’s life. It still feels awkward for me; after all, I grew up with very different beliefs. I kept telling myself not to judge. I went to this couple and introduced myself, and they both told me they were the moms of this kid. Guess what? They were as decent as me! They had three wonderful kids, and the most amazing thing was that this particular situation was not even strange for the kids. I love my kid’s school. I remember also meeting two lesbians that adopted two kids. Their story was so touching, and the amount of love they had to give to these little boys was farther than I could imagine. The security they offered to those kids who had been abused by their heterosexual parents blew my mind. There was also a woman/man who helps at the garden at my church has such a positive disposition in helping the kids every summer. I remember my son asking me, “Is that person a woman or a man?” I was honest: “I think she used to be a man, but now she wants to be a woman.” And my son just said “Okay.” You see? He is not growing up with the ideas I did because I made sure not to pass my old beliefs on to him that really don’t serve our society anymore.
It also has broken my heart when I see people who really want to come out and say they are gay but because their families are very involved with church they choose not to. I have heard parents say, “Well, I will support my kid if they are gay, even if it breaks my heart.” Really? Do you think your kid would come to you to tell you they are gay after they hear you say that is not the way to God? That you are still disappointed? Your kids want mom and dad happy; they don’t want to cause any pain.
I am glad to say that now after so many years of trying to dispose some of my old beliefs and live by example, I accept people of different sexual orientations. Hopefully I can show my family and friends that we can change all those old patterns that didn’t let us accept people. When my mom came to visit, I had the pleasure to show her firsthand what amazing gay friends I have. She got to see my two female friends who have an amazing marriage, and to be honest they love each other so much after going through tough times. Even me having a heterosexual relationship, I would have some issues dedicating to my spouse the way they do to each other. She also met my very good friend who is gay, with whom I can spend hours talking about everything and be able to see how amazing and contagious his relationship with God is.
I had people asking me how I would feel if my son becomes a homosexual. Well, I don’t know if you can become so or am not sure if you are born that way or how all this happens. I have spoken to my husband about it since he is a Christian and a very Bible-oriented dude; I thought we had to talk about that. I was relieved to hear him say: “If he is gay, I hope he adopts many babies because I want to have grandchildren.”
We live in times now that life tests how much love we have inside. For me, it is obvious that life will push us hard to become our TrueSelf. I have seen some people come out because they want to say to the world, “Yes, I am.” Churches are starting to welcome homosexuals, and I choose to welcome them too. I choose to raise my son around a society where you can be who you are. I don’t judge those who still have a hard time dealing with this issue because I have been there. All I can say is that I am so glad I have my gay friends because they have shown me another way of acceptance, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Without them, this shift in my beliefs probably would not have happened.